The Cheekie Monkey Cheeky reads, quirky finds and a bit of nonsense.

The Cheekie Monkey

Cheeky reads, quirky finds and a bit of nonsense.

Latest Articles

Beep, Blame and Bagging Area: A Cheekie Night at the Self-Checkout Panto
Shopping & Finds

Beep, Blame and Bagging Area: A Cheekie Night at the Self-Checkout Panto

Britain’s self-checkouts are not really tills. They are tiny stages where we perform innocence, panic and the tactical packing shuffle for an audience of one smug machine. Pull up a basket and enjoy the panto.

Trolley Folly: Confessions of a Middle-Aisle Magpie
Shopping & Finds

Trolley Folly: Confessions of a Middle-Aisle Magpie

You went in for milk. You came out with a kayak, a chainsaw and a vague sense of shame. A loving tribute to the British supermarket middle aisle, where impulse buys become family folklore and nobody ever leaves with just the essentials.

Wrap Rage: Surviving the Office Secret Santa Without Losing a Friend
Wellness & Life

Wrap Rage: Surviving the Office Secret Santa Without Losing a Friend

The office Secret Santa is not a gift exchange. It’s a £10 social experiment with tinsel. From the colleague who overspends to the ‘funny’ mug that haunts the kitchen, here’s how to survive the swap with your dignity and your friendships intact.

Six O’Clock Tat Treasures: A Cheekie Rummage Through the Great British Car Boot Sale
UK Days Out

Six O’Clock Tat Treasures: A Cheekie Rummage Through the Great British Car Boot Sale

A dawn raid on other people’s spare rooms, held in a damp field and soundtracked by a man selling extension leads. Here’s the Cheekie guide to haggling kindly, spotting quiet gems and surrendering to the mystery carrier bag.

The Fine Art of Standing Still: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Great British Queue
Wellness & Life

The Fine Art of Standing Still: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Great British Queue

Britain does not have a national anthem so much as a national shuffle forward. From the sigher to the space-invader, here’s an affectionate field guide to queue etiquette for 2026’s pop-ups, festivals and ticket drops.

The £2.50 Swagger: How Loud Budgeting Became Britain’s New Bragging Rights
Wellness & Life

The £2.50 Swagger: How Loud Budgeting Became Britain’s New Bragging Rights

Forget whispering about your savings — in 2026, Brits are announcing their thrifty wins like football scores. A cheeky look at loud budgeting, yellow-sticker hauls and the fine art of out-frugalling your mates without turning into a human spreadsheet.

Quiz Night Rules: The Unwritten Laws of Britain’s Most Competitive Pint-Sized Sport
UK Days Out

Quiz Night Rules: The Unwritten Laws of Britain’s Most Competitive Pint-Sized Sport

There is no trophy, no prize money worth mentioning and absolutely no mercy. A cheeky field guide to the glorious chaos of the British pub quiz, from the captain with a clipboard to the mate Googling under the table.

Bin There, Done That: The Cheekie Training Plan for Britain’s Wheelie Bin Choreography
Wellness & Life

Bin There, Done That: The Cheekie Training Plan for Britain’s Wheelie Bin Choreography

Every week, the nation performs a silent, wheel-based ballet on the pavement. Bin day is not a chore; it is our most underrated local sport. Here is the tongue-in-cheek training regime for ordinary households hoping to reach binfluencer status.

Bingo at the Back of the Shop: A Cheekie Guide to £2 Charity-Shop Jackpots
UK Days Out

Bingo at the Back of the Shop: A Cheekie Guide to £2 Charity-Shop Jackpots

Charity shops are the last great British adventure, and the £2 rail is where the magic happens. Here is the cheekie guide to turning a wet Saturday rummage into a game of bingo, complete with weird ornaments, forgotten board games and the unspoken rules of the rails.

The £0 Day Out: Why Testing Sofas and Sampling Perfume Is Peak British Entertainment
Wellness & Life

The £0 Day Out: Why Testing Sofas and Sampling Perfume Is Peak British Entertainment

The great British mooch — wandering shops with no intention of buying anything — is under threat from efficient people with lists. We say it’s time to revive the aimless Saturday potter, one free biscuit at a time.

The Front-Garden Games: Inside Britain’s Gloriously Petty Neighbourhood Olympics
UK Days Out

The Front-Garden Games: Inside Britain’s Gloriously Petty Neighbourhood Olympics

Forget the Olympics. Britain’s real sporting drama is unfolding on bin day, behind the hedge and next to the garden gnome with the chipped hat. Here’s your cheeky field guide to the neighbourhood contests nobody admits they’re training for.

Gravy, Gurning and Giant Pants: 12 Gloriously Ridiculous UK Days Out for 2026
UK Days Out

Gravy, Gurning and Giant Pants: 12 Gloriously Ridiculous UK Days Out for 2026

Forget beige staycations and another mooch round a garden centre. The Cheekie Monkey has assembled 12 properly silly UK days out for 2026, complete with rough costs, travel faff and a script for convincing your mates. Bring cash, a change of socks and absolutely no dignity.

Wellness & Life

Embrace the Inner Muppet: Why Acting Like a Plonker Is the Wellness Hack We All Need in 2026

Doomscrolling is out; dad jokes, silly walks and competitive egg-and-spoon races are in. The Cheekie Monkey investigates the rise of 'nonsense wellness'—and why a bit of public embarrassment might be the most British wellbeing boost going. Includes a deeply unscientific self-test.