The Cheekie Monkey Cheeky reads, quirky finds and a bit of nonsense.

The Cheekie Monkey

Cheeky reads, quirky finds and a bit of nonsense.

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The Curtain-Twitch Games: A Cheekie Field Guide to Britain’s Parcel-Dodging Habits
Shopping & Finds

The Curtain-Twitch Games: A Cheekie Field Guide to Britain’s Parcel-Dodging Habits

There are two types of Brits: those who fling the door open in a dressing gown, and those who hit the deck at the first sight of a high-vis jacket. This is the cheeky field guide to the national art of pretending you’re not in — from safe-place politics to the neighbourly parcel hostage situation.

Nine Quid a Bratwurst: The Cheekie Monkey's Christmas Market Survival Manual
UK Days Out

Nine Quid a Bratwurst: The Cheekie Monkey's Christmas Market Survival Manual

Twinkly lights, wooden huts, and a sausage that costs more than your lunch. Here's how to navigate the great British Christmas market without becoming the mulled-wine menace everyone quietly steps around.

Acrylic Armageddon: A Cheekie Field Guide to Office Christmas Jumper Day
Wellness & Life

Acrylic Armageddon: A Cheekie Field Guide to Office Christmas Jumper Day

It arrives every December with a £2 charity donation and a whiff of loft. Here's The Cheekie Monkey's survival manual for Office Christmas Jumper Day 2026 — the competitive knits, the passive-aggressive compliments, and the group photo that will haunt the intranet until Valentine's.

The £3.50 Republic: A Cheekie Field Guide to Britain’s Lunchtime Fridge Politics
Shopping & Finds

The £3.50 Republic: A Cheekie Field Guide to Britain’s Lunchtime Fridge Politics

Britain’s meal deal is not lunch. It is a tiny daily republic with its own laws, betrayals and crisp-based hierarchy. Here is the Cheekie Monkey’s field guide to surviving the fridge, the queue and the last decent sandwich in 2026.

Junk Drawer Confidential: Britain’s Most Chaotic Cupboard Speaks
Wellness & Life

Junk Drawer Confidential: Britain’s Most Chaotic Cupboard Speaks

Every kitchen has one: the drawer where logic goes to die and a single chopstick rules alone. This cheekie excavation ranks the classic inhabitants, explains why we never tidy it, and invites you to confess your own drawer crimes.

The Sofa Sovereignty Handbook: Who Really Holds the Remote in 2026?
Telly & Streaming

The Sofa Sovereignty Handbook: Who Really Holds the Remote in 2026?

Streaming was supposed to set us free, but in 2026 the remote is still the most fought-over object in the British home. Here is the cheeky field guide to channel flickers, password hoarders, volume tyrants and the delicate art of not ruining family telly time.

Cup of Treason: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Office Tea Round in 2026
Wellness & Life

Cup of Treason: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Office Tea Round in 2026

The office tea round is not a beverage service; it is a delicate social contract held together by goodwill, memory and the correct biscuit. Here is The Cheekie Monkey’s field guide to surviving the kettle politics of 2026 without accidentally declaring war on Accounts.

Ladle Be With You: The Cheekie Monkey’s Field Guide to Carvery Etiquette and the Sunday Plate-Off
UK Days Out

Ladle Be With You: The Cheekie Monkey’s Field Guide to Carvery Etiquette and the Sunday Plate-Off

There is no British institution quite like the Sunday carvery: a beige banquet, a meat-ladle standoff and a Yorkshire pudding allocation that can make or break family harmony. Here’s our cheeky field guide to surviving the queue, respecting the gravy, and scoring your local in 2026.

Tinsel, Tears and Telly: The Cheekie Monkey’s Christmas Advert Autopsy 2026
Festive Telly

Tinsel, Tears and Telly: The Cheekie Monkey’s Christmas Advert Autopsy 2026

A thoroughly unscientific ranking of this year’s Christmas adverts by sob factor, celebrity audacity and mince-pie urgency. Grab a cuppa, lower your expectations and let’s judge telly’s festive offerings with the seriousness they absolutely do not deserve.

Cling Film and Consequences: A Field Guide to Not Declaring War on Your Office Kitchen
Wellness & Life

Cling Film and Consequences: A Field Guide to Not Declaring War on Your Office Kitchen

The shared office kitchen is a beautiful, terrible ecosystem held together by goodwill, lukewarm kettle water and one unspoken rule about not reheating fish. Here is The Cheekie Monkey’s entirely unofficial survival manual, from decoding passive-aggressive Post-its to surviving the Great Mug Amnesty without losing your mind or your colleagues.

UK Days Out

Boo, Hiss and Barrel of Laughs: The Cheekie Guide to Panto Heckling Without Becoming the Pantomime Villain

Panto season is back, and the audience is part of the cast whether the theatre likes it or not. Here’s how to shout, boo and heckle like a proper Brit in 2026 — without getting escorted out by a bloke called Dave in a high-vis tabard.

Sundowner Standoff: The Cheekie Guide to Winning a Pub Garden Table Without Becoming a Menace
UK Days Out

Sundowner Standoff: The Cheekie Guide to Winning a Pub Garden Table Without Becoming a Menace

There's a precise moment on a sunny Saturday when a British pub garden stops being a place of leisure and becomes a contested border zone. Here's our cheeky field guide to claiming a table, defending your patch and committing none of the classic etiquette crimes.

Peri-Peri Politics: The Cheekie Monkey’s Unwritten Rulebook for a Cheeky Nando’s
Wellness & Life

Peri-Peri Politics: The Cheekie Monkey’s Unwritten Rulebook for a Cheeky Nando’s

The cheeky Nando’s is less a meal and more a national institution with its own laws, hierarchies and diplomatic incidents. We bravely wade into the heat-scale politics, the ordering ceremony and the side-order civil war that splits families every Friday night.

Permission Slip: Ranking Britain’s Most Beloved ‘Cheeky’ Excuses
Wellness & Life

Permission Slip: Ranking Britain’s Most Beloved ‘Cheeky’ Excuses

From the cheeky Nando’s to the cheeky mid-afternoon biscuit, we’ve put Britain’s favourite modifier through a totally unscientific 2026 ranking. Expect mock-science, reader nominations and one very cheeky test.

Beep, Blame and Bagging Area: A Cheekie Night at the Self-Checkout Panto
Shopping & Finds

Beep, Blame and Bagging Area: A Cheekie Night at the Self-Checkout Panto

Britain’s self-checkouts are not really tills. They are tiny stages where we perform innocence, panic and the tactical packing shuffle for an audience of one smug machine. Pull up a basket and enjoy the panto.

Wrap Rage: Surviving the Office Secret Santa Without Losing a Friend
Wellness & Life

Wrap Rage: Surviving the Office Secret Santa Without Losing a Friend

The office Secret Santa is not a gift exchange. It’s a £10 social experiment with tinsel. From the colleague who overspends to the ‘funny’ mug that haunts the kitchen, here’s how to survive the swap with your dignity and your friendships intact.

Trolley Folly: Confessions of a Middle-Aisle Magpie
Shopping & Finds

Trolley Folly: Confessions of a Middle-Aisle Magpie

You went in for milk. You came out with a kayak, a chainsaw and a vague sense of shame. A loving tribute to the British supermarket middle aisle, where impulse buys become family folklore and nobody ever leaves with just the essentials.

Six O’Clock Tat Treasures: A Cheekie Rummage Through the Great British Car Boot Sale
UK Days Out

Six O’Clock Tat Treasures: A Cheekie Rummage Through the Great British Car Boot Sale

A dawn raid on other people’s spare rooms, held in a damp field and soundtracked by a man selling extension leads. Here’s the Cheekie guide to haggling kindly, spotting quiet gems and surrendering to the mystery carrier bag.

The Fine Art of Standing Still: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Great British Queue
Wellness & Life

The Fine Art of Standing Still: A Cheekie Field Guide to the Great British Queue

Britain does not have a national anthem so much as a national shuffle forward. From the sigher to the space-invader, here’s an affectionate field guide to queue etiquette for 2026’s pop-ups, festivals and ticket drops.

The £2.50 Swagger: How Loud Budgeting Became Britain’s New Bragging Rights
Wellness & Life

The £2.50 Swagger: How Loud Budgeting Became Britain’s New Bragging Rights

Forget whispering about your savings — in 2026, Brits are announcing their thrifty wins like football scores. A cheeky look at loud budgeting, yellow-sticker hauls and the fine art of out-frugalling your mates without turning into a human spreadsheet.